Why You Might Feel Stuck — And What Psychology Says Can Help

There are times in life when it feels like nothing we do makes a difference. After facing repeated setbacks or difficult circumstances, it’s natural to feel discouraged and lose the motivation to keep trying. However, for people who experience persistent adverse events, this can lead to a belief that our efforts won’t change the outcome, even when opportunities for change are possible.

Psychologists refer to this as learned helplessness, a state where we begin to feel powerless, not because we truly are, but because past experiences have taught us to expect failure. These past experiences could look like many things. For a long time, researchers believed learned helplessness was a phenomenon unique to people that had experienced prolonged traumatic events such as childhood trauma or exposure to domestic violence. Though more recent research has shown that learned helplessness can also develop in people experiencing workplace burnout, chronic pain and illness, and other prolonged difficult circumstances that are hard to avoid.

Unsurprisingly, learned helplessness plays a significant role in mental health conditions such as depression, anxiety, and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Rather than continuing to try, people may start to withdraw, and feel stuck or resigned to their situation. This response isn’t a sign of weakness or lack of motivation. It’s the brain’s reaction to prolonged adversity. In an attempt to protect itself from further disappointment, it learns to expect failure or rejection. This belief persists even when the situation has changed and we gain the ability to exert control or influence.

How do I know if my brain has fallen into learned hopelessness?

Learned helplessness can manifest in a few different ways. Primarily it could present as low self-esteem, low motivation, and finding things too difficult to persist in after minor setbacks. Key indications may include feelings of apathy and powerlessness, as well as “all-or-nothing thinking”. If you find yourself consistently having thoughts such as “Don’t bother with this, it’s not worth it”, “Even if I did try and do something I’d probably fail anyway”, “Nothing I do matters”, or other similar thoughts, then there is a high likelihood that your brain has switched into a learned helplessness state. If any of these thoughts resonate with you, it doesn’t mean you’re broken or doomed to stay stuck in this state. Learned helplessness is a natural, human response to prolonged stress, but it can be unlearned with small steps towards regaining a sense of control. Recognising these patterns is the first (and most important) step in moving our brain back into a hopeful state.

What can be done to move away from learned helplessness to hopefulness?

One of the most effective ways to begin restoring a sense of control is by intentionally engaging with small, manageable actions where we can influence the outcome. By focusing on actions where we have some influence over the outcome, we reawaken the parts of our brain associated with agency and problem-solving. In states of learned helplessness, certain regions of the brain associated with motivation and goal-directed behavior become underactive. With each small act of taking control, these patterns can start to reverse. The brain begins to “relearn” that effort can lead to change. This causes our brain to start to appraise situations with a more balanced perspective, moving from hopelessness to a more realistic assessment of situations. This shifts our default thinking towards seeing ourselves as capable of influencing our circumstances again.

How can therapy help support recovery from learned helplessness?

Therapy offers a valuable space to gently explore the underlying experiences and beliefs that have shaped feelings of helplessness. Therapy helps people untangle from the thoughts and beliefs that keep them feeling stuck. An outside perspective can be crucial in this process. Often, the brain becomes so accustomed to focusing on difficulties that it overlooks personal strengths and past successes. A therapist can help to illuminate these blind spots that our brain may filter out. Therapy also supports the gradual rebuilding of confidence across different domains of life. Through practical strategies, reflection, and encouragement, people can begin to take back a sense of agency and self-efficacy.

While learned helplessness can have a profound impact on a person’s emotional well-being, relationships, and daily life, it’s important to remember that it is not a permanent state. Just as it is learned through experience, it can also be unlearned with the right support and strategies.

If you’ve noticed signs of learned helplessness in your own life, you’re not alone, and support is available. Our team of psychologists can help you explore new ways of responding, rediscover personal strengths, and gently rebuild a sense of hope and agency. Speak with your GP about a Mental Health Treatment Plan or contact us directly to find out more.