Instructions
This quiz is for self-reflection only. It is not scientifically validated and is not intended as a diagnostic tool. If you recognise these patterns in yourself and they are causing distress, speaking with a psychologist can help.
For each question, choose the option that best matches how often this applies to you.
How Much Is This Pattern Costing You?
This quiz is for self-reflection only. It is not scientifically validated and is not intended as a diagnostic tool. If you recognise these patterns in yourself and they are causing distress, speaking with a psychologist can help.
For each question, choose the option that best matches how often this applies to you.
1.
How often do you feel that people in your close relationships don't really know the real you, because you present what they need rather than how you actually feel?
Your answer:
Rarely or never
Occasionally
Fairly often
Almost always
2.
How often do you feel resentful toward people you care about, even when you haven't told them what you actually need?
Your answer:
Rarely or never
Occasionally
Fairly often
Almost always
3.
How often do you avoid being honest with someone to protect them from discomfort, even when honesty would be better for the relationship?
Your answer:
Rarely or never
Occasionally
Fairly often
Almost always
4.
How often does anticipating other people's reactions at work affect your ability to make decisions, speak up, or do your best work?
Your answer:
Rarely or never
Occasionally
Fairly often
Almost always
5.
How often do you take on tasks, responsibilities, or emotional labour at work that isn't yours to carry?
Your answer:
Rarely or never
Occasionally
Fairly often
Almost always
6.
How often does managing the moods or dynamics of colleagues or clients leave you exhausted by the end of the day?
Your answer:
Rarely or never
Occasionally
Fairly often
Almost always
7.
How often do you feel unsure of what you actually want, as opposed to what the people around you want?
Your answer:
Rarely or never
Occasionally
Fairly often
Almost always
8.
How often do you feel that your sense of self-worth depends on whether the people around you are okay?
Your answer:
Rarely or never
Occasionally
Fairly often
Almost always
9.
How often do you find yourself unable to enjoy something because someone around you seems unhappy, even if it has nothing to do with you?
Your answer:
Rarely or never
Occasionally
Fairly often
Almost always
10.
How often do you feel physically tired or depleted after time spent with other people, even people you love?
Your answer:
Rarely or never
Occasionally
Fairly often
Almost always
11.
How often do you experience anxiety, a sense of dread, or a low-level hum of worry that you trace back to how someone else is feeling?
Your answer:
Rarely or never
Occasionally
Fairly often
Almost always
12.
How often do you feel that you have very little genuine downtime, because you're always monitoring, managing, or anticipating?
Your answer:
Rarely or never
Occasionally
Fairly often
Almost always
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