Excel Psychology

Why Do We Push and Pull in Relationships? Understanding Anxious and Avoidant Attachment Patterns

Have you ever felt like you’re always chasing closeness while your partner keeps pulling away—or the reverse, where you feel overwhelmed and need space just as they need connection most? You’re not alone. Many couples find themselves caught in this painful dance, unsure how to step out of the cycle.

What’s Really Going On Beneath the Surface?

Attachment theory helps us make sense of these patterns. It’s not necessarily that one partner cares more than the other—rather, each is trying to feel safe, in ways that can unintentionally trigger the other.

How to Build a Happy Relationship: 3 Helpful Tips from Science and Therapy

Relationships can be the source of great joy, fulfillment, and growth. They can also require constant effort, communication, and compromise. How can we make our relationships happier and healthier? What are the secrets of couples who stay together and thrive?

Couples therapy: when is it time to seek help?

A romantic relationship of any kind can be such an enriching part of our lives. The feeling of joy, intimacy, support, totally uninhibited fun and a deep sense of interpersonal connection would just be scratching the surface of all of the good things a relationship can bring. So with all of the wonderful endorphins rushing around at the start of a new relationship, or when things get more serious, perhaps when we feel a sense of security and intimacy or achieve fulfilling milestones in our relationships, it can be hard to understand where things maybe started to go wrong. How can a relationship that once lit up our world become a source of frustration and resentment, and how can we make this better?